The Queen & I went to JA’s the other day. She went to shop, I went to meander (I don’t shop). We got 6 stacks, three 12 X12, and three 4 X 6, fifteen 12 X 12 card stock, a plastic tote box, a package of 12 X 12 specialty paper, and a 24” X 36” cutting mat.
I have been wanting a larger mat for over a year, but have been bashful about spending that kind of money. I really wanted a Fiskars mat, but then they went to the fold up kind. All the others I saw said use rotary knives only, but the one I got said rotary or fixed blade. When I picked it up there was no price on it and the lady in the sewing department had no idea as to the price and suggested I ask at the register.
Understand, I am on the JA mailing, newsletter and email lists, plus I get the Sunday paper. I had coupons, more than I could count. Everything I bought was on sale for 40% or 50% off, so coupons were useless … why even bother. When I got to the register, (Disneyland lines aren’t that long) I asked the lady how much for the cutting mat and she said $26.99 and that was ½ price. I was trying to decide if I wanted to spend that much when all of a sudden she said “I can give you an additional 20% off. About then The Queen said I could get it. Getting a double dose of good, I handed over my plastic spending device.
So the final tally was $74.10 including tax, and Total Savings $86.90. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I explained to The Queen that the nice lady loves me. The Queen tends to shake her head a lot.
Holiday Eating Tips1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
