I went to the hospital yesterday. After 6 assorted medical persons poked, prodded, and zapped me it was determined I was a good enough specimen to operated on. I am now starting to get a little worried. These doctors are children. Some look like they come in during 4th period Science Class. One doctor explained the whole procedure to me, then informed me of the perils that could happen. It’s one thing to read about it online, and quite another to have some little girl, who has watched way too many horror movies, explain it to me. She just used an awful lot of verbs, adverbs and adjectives.
My operation is called a parotidectomy. Essentially they are going to rip my face off and remove a parotid. The practical nurse who was doing the anesthetic interview said I would most likely have a sedative and local anesthesia for the operation. Now there’s a warm and fuzzy feeling. I screamed at him that I do not want to be there … just wake me when it’s over.
Anyhow the deed is to be done on Jan. 18th, unless it is moved again, and I have to stay at least 1 day in the hospital. For some reason they won’t tell what time to come in until the day before. Oh, and I can’t have anything to eat or drink (except my meds) the morning of the operation. Now that is cruel and unusual punishment. I mean what if they don’t operate until the afternoon? I read online “The procedure typically takes from two to five hours to complete, depending on the extent of surgery and the skill of the surgeon.” What does that mean? Somewhere between a quick job where they forget a step or two, or a drawn out affair where they kinda fumble through it.